


Mamihlapinatapei

by hongseongwoo



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: A 3-part fic is coming, First Post, I'm just trying to post something, M/M, So yes, This is just a test post, and it's going to be bloody, shitposting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 21:06:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16940736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hongseongwoo/pseuds/hongseongwoo
Summary: Maybe. Just maybe.Maybe Daniel feels the same way as I am.





	Mamihlapinatapei

MMA was crazy. Seongwu never thought they’d win the Record of the Year award. For one, he knew they will win a daesang, manager-hyung already discussed this with the rest of the team. Mainly one of the reasons they’re attending. But since MMA does not award two daesangs to one group, he knew he shouldn’t get his hopes up. Secondly, the event was attended by bigger sunbaenims like BTS, BlackPink, Twice, and more. He knew that they are just rookies, they won’t snatch that big of an award, would they? But he was proven wrong. When the hosts announced the winners, he couldn’t believe his ears, he had to ask the other members, who are equally confused and surprised. The camera ahjussi was able to capture the rawest emotions out of the members because no one thought they will actually win it. 

Wanna One went up the stage, all hesitant to go near the mic stand. They are still awestruck, perhaps still on cloud nine. The loud cheering of fans brought Seongwu back to reality and his eyes are all wet now. Jisung thanked Wannables and everyone as the good leader that he is, followed by one member after another. 

“To be honest, before becoming Wanna One, I am not a person who has received awards. I sang. I danced. Lots of people told me I was insane. That’s why I worked hard, practiced and trained hard as I sweat. Standing like this on a big stage and receiving this award, I became a son my mother would be proud of. I became a family member that my family would be proud of. I became a Wanna One member that Wannables could be proud of,” Seongwu was holding back his tears but the crack in his voice made it obvious, “I love you. Thank you.” 

When the award show ended, everyone was already exhausted to even talk about it. They were just happy that they are together and the exchanging smiles amidst the silence was enough for them. But not for Seongwu. He has always been the emotional one. One time, during their world tour, the members teased him onstage because of how cringe-worthy his ment has become. They all lined up opposite him and continue to make fun of Seongwu—he has accepted that. When a wave of emotions hit him up and went crashing, his tears fell. He didn’t want anyone to notice so he went to hide in the far right corner of the room. He made it look like he was arranging his stuff, but truth be told, he cannot control them from falling.  


You need to stop, self. 

He patted his face dry using the jacket he used but not too much so the make up would not smudge in it. He also thought he wanted to come home with makeup still so he was careful as he fans himself. Seongwu was about to look at the members who were quietly checking on their phones when he felt an energy behind him. Suddenly, a hand snaked on his arms, completely entangling him, making it impossible to turn around and check who it is. He felt the want of tenderness while their bodies are pushed together. 

“I was looking for you, Seongwu.”

_Daniel._

They dropped the formalities long ago, maybe even before Produce ended. They just talk casually to each other when they’re alone or with the members. But Daniel never forgets that he needs to call him Seongwu-hyung during broadcast and filming sessions. 

“Are you okay? I wanted to go to you earlier so I could hug you and comfort you, but—“, Daniel directly uttered to his right ear. 

“It’s okay, Niel. I’m okay,” the older cuts him even before Daniel finished his sentence. 

He knows. Daniel could not hug him or do anything, even if it is remotely sweet on stage or when there’s camera. The younger never does that and Daniel knows he isn’t also that fond of skinship (or whatever they call it), and he’s a bit shy and reserved. He doesn’t like anyone seeing him or Daniel do things together like hugging, holding, linking arms, what not. He prefers these things to be done in private. One could argue that he does skinship to other members but Seongwu knows Daniel is different. He’s not just another member. 

Daniel continued hugging the older from behind when the manager-hyung asked for a photo. By reflex, they just turned around and smiled. Seongwu leaned his head against Daniel’s. 

_Why did you do that?_

He just felt like it. Because it feels warm, comfortable, and familiar. He wanted to acknowledge how Daniel comforted him and looked for him right after the award show ended so he did. He knows he could end up being thrown rocks at by Daniel’s fans but he didn’t mind. It felt like it’s the right thing to do. By instinct, he leaned. It felt like home. 

But most importantly, he felt something about Daniel. He always knew he liked him. Seongwu knows that but he is not one to overstep boundaries and Daniel would feel betrayed if he knew his hyung has been pining over him these past few months. He also knows that Daniel is straight as fuck—he would not dare break his heart again, he's seen him through worst and he swears he will never hurt Daniel. His precious Daniel.

He's his best friend after all. It was enough for him. 

But this time it’s different. He felt Daniel’s heart because it was right behind his. He almost heard it beating because he can feel how hard it was pounding in Daniel’s chest. He decided he wanted to talk about it. Heck, he had a butt load of things to ask him. These past few days weren’t easy on him. He knew something was up because Daniel interacted with him even when there are cameras rolling. Daniel asked him to upload a selca together, Daniel almost held his hands during MGA, Daniel did a lot of things and he wanted to confirm. At first he was hesitant but he is adamant now. 

Maybe. Just maybe. 

~0~

**Bonus: Seongwu's letter.**

 

Daniel,

I have a lot to tell you but I don't think I could properly deliver it personally. I hope after this letter, when you still want me to be your hyung, you find the courage to go to me, tell me how you feel and then we'll continue this crazy friendship. I do not care if you do not feel the same because I will always be here for you, no matter what. 

Here goes nothing. 

I turn to this letter to write what I have never been able to tell you. I want to tell you I love you. Yes, you read it right, Daniel. I love you--I'm so in love with you. We had been taught that ours was not love, but I realized it was. What you and I had is the truest love I have ever felt. That's why I don't want to lose you, and I'm afraid telling you might break us away somehow that's why I never told you. But today I found the courage to go straight up and tell you: I love you. 

I loved you from the first time we've been in the same group in Produce. No, maybe even before that. I was so lonely and then you came. It was never the same. Thank you. I loved you since we escaped the English town and went to the subway to sneak photos. I loved you from the day your hand asked for mine in Get Ugly. I loved you from the day you warmed my hands with your breath because I do not have gloves. I love you so much that the thought of being with you was the only thing that kept me going. 

It would suffice to look into my eyes for you to understand. I wish you could. I wish you will. You wouldn't need words. We would look and we would be children in the halls of Produce, before Wanna One, before the hate that become us the old men we are. 

That's why I've been thinking of writing this letter for months now. When you hugged me yesterday, the way you smiled at me made me believe that our love meant everything and threw light in my direction. I love you and whatever happens, I will always be with you. 

Yours only,  
Seongwu

**Author's Note:**

> So, yes. I'm planning on uploading a new fic under this tag :) 
> 
> It's my first time in AO3, first time writing something that has been on my mind for days. (This ain't it)  
> I am going to upload the first ever 2? 3? shot fic I'm going to write maybe tomorrow. It won't be like this.  
> That's going to be bloody, angsty, and idk? on a damn different level so... yes. I'll keep it at that. Please be gentle as it's the first time I'm doing this. I'm just a nobody and I'm still a n00b so :) 
> 
> Btw the letter is inspired by another work of fiction? I lifted most of the words from there. Check out @brendonsexual on Twitter... yeah his viral post about this war couple. That's the one. Also read it. It was beautiful.


End file.
